Decolonise and dismantle survivor support structures!
Survivor support services promote dangerous ideas of linear healing and recovery throughout their services. They are pressured by funders and governing bodies to meet targets, prove improvements and show measurable recovery.
Not only are these expectations unrealistic, they also feed harmful westernised ideas of mental health and trauma. Their methods of diagnosing and supporting trauma fails survivors and does not reflect our individual needs.
Healing is not linear. Healing is not quantifiable. Healing is not a diagram. Healing is complex, unique and messy. It is also human. It is about learning to be ok with all feelings, good and difficult. It is not something that can be reduced to a diagram or fit into categories.
While becoming aware of our emotions and process is important in healing, it is damaging us the way survivor services pressure us into measuring our trauma and monitoring and evaluating our recovery in a way that fits the narrative they want. Because they need case studies, positive outcomes and specific results for their impact reports they control the way we asses and record our healing.
We need to challenge this deep set structural norm that makes us feel that we have to improve our mental health at the speed services control and the way services expect.
Instead let’s ask each other questions and create space and trust within healing to find our own pace and path in the ways that are right for us. 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨
Note to survivor services: we invite you to start an open dialogue with us. Please get in touch to connect. There will be more about this soon.
We as survivors stand with our sisters not just our cis-ters!
As survivors we feel it is imperative to make a statement in response to JK Rowling’s toxic views on trans and gender non conforming people (specifically seeing trans women as a threat and not accepting the identities and experiences of the non binary community).
It is violent to speak about cis women’s safety and experiences as survivors of rape, sexual assault or domestic abuse in order to further a dangerous agenda.
Trans women are women. THIS IS NOT A DEBATE. You do not get to debate someone’s identity or existence. If you do not see this, then you need to do some work. Read. Your fear is because of dangerous myths and untrue ideas that are embedded within our society claiming that trans women are not women and therefore dangerous. This is irrational. This is a belief you have to challenge.
If you had a child and they were afraid of something that wasn’t true, you would support them to challenge that view so that they felt safe rather than perpetuate their unfounded fear.
Of course your safety is important. Nobody is arguing it’s not. BUT it is not trans women that are your threat. We are ALL living in a society that makes us unsafe, however trans women are in far more danger and experience more stigma and abuse than we cis women can possibly imagine. You are putting their lives at risk by perpetuating the idea that they are not “real women”. This is furthering the divide within our community and movement against violence towards womxn and the bigger forces that are in play; capitalist patriarchy. We have to be very careful not to weaponise our trauma in order to devalue or disregard someone else’s.
Through coming out as a survivor with the platform that you have JK Rowling, you are silencing all those that aren’t survivors to be able to challenge your harmful views and encouraging other survivors to irrationally fear trans women.
We as survivors understand what feeling unsafe is like, we understand what violence and abuse towards us because of our gender and identity is like. We have more tools than most to empathise. We need to stand up for trans women not against them. We share some of the same oppressions and are oppressed by some of the same groups. You are consciously making the active decision to be an oppressor in the same way patriarchy oppresses us all.
SURVIVORS WE NEED TO STAND UP AGAINST THIS HATE! Safe spaces are for people that need safety and protection. We need to mutually support each other to ensure ALL our safety. Stand with all trans folk. Stand against violence to all womxn. #Survivorsstandwithtranswomen.
We are beginning a new project!!! ✨✨✨
A network for survivors to both get and give 1-1 support, solidarity and connection.
The type of support (and accessibility) that survivor services and mental health services currently offer is not working for many people and we need radical alternatives. Now
Survivors tell us that they are desperate for something different. We are expanding what the Resilience Fund does and are exploring new ways of finding and creating mutual support collectively. Support that is individual, support where we are in control, support where we are able to have real connection and support that is accessible now.
This is why we are setting up TRF Mutual Survivors Support Collective to link up survivors with each other, to find ways to support one another. Ourselves.
This project is aimed at creating connections between survivors and building our strength and resilience collectively, in non-hierarchical ways.
First come first served (email email@example.com simply ‘I want’). This one is around sexual pleasure.
Joy in sexual pleasure is so important to our resilience and healing for many of us, but still often it is seen as a taboo subject; particularly an avoided in survivor services. We want to see more discussion around sexual pleasure, the erotic and the sensual within healing spaces so you will definitely see more from us on this.
OMGyes have given us 10 FREE access codes to both their series on ‘women’s sexual pleasure’.
OMGyes is an online visual platform that shares research and information on women’s* sexual pleasure. This includes research gathered from over 20,000 *women.
OMGyes Original + The Inner Pleasure Collection (usually £59)
The original (practical techniques to enhance clitoral pleasure solo or as a couple, 60 short videos & 12 touchable simulations) practical techniques to enhance pleasure with inner stimulation and penetration, solo or as a couple. Over 180 short videos in total.
*Disclaimer (you know we love a disclaimer): This is for anyone but we want to acknowledge that OMGyes focuses on cis women’s experience and pleasure. This is not inclusive as does not acknowledge the importance of involving all womxn and all those with vulvas within their research.
Hi! We haven’t posted for a while. We both had to return suddenly to separate countries because of the crisis (Meg in the UK and Bryony in Greece). We are both in isolation and missing each other and general human contact immensely.
We are connecting, talking, laughing and working through video chat however.
We want to acknowledge how incredibly hard this must be for everyone and send so much love, strength, resilience and power to all of you. In the weeks to come we will be more present online with as much support as we can offer. We are just trying to figure out, like everyone else, the best way to do this.
We are thinking of more online support in different forms including the possibility of an online mini retreat/workshops and working on a 1-1 survivor support club. Any ideas please let us know.
We have a couple of questions for you:
What do you need?
What do you want to see from us/this project?
What would you like to see from an online weekend retreat?
Please please remember to take out a mini grant to help build your resilience- now is the time more than ever to support and treat yourself.
Friends and those with money please support by donating to us to support more people through this time. PayPal firstname.lastname@example.org
Love and hugs xxxx
Gifts gifts gifts!!!🎊🎀🎁 👸🎁👸🎁🎀🎊
We dressed up as gifts to entertain ourselves…⚡✨⚡✨⚡✨
Also to tell you that there are lots of exciting gifts and treats we have been given and will be offering out over the next week. Things like gift vouchers for glamorous restaurants, exciting courses, tickets and more. 🎫💌🤸♀💃🌹🥂🍽
Look out on our social media and here as we will be offering stuff each day and it will be on a first come first served basis. 👀
If you know someone who you think would really enjoy one of the gifts you can ask for it on their behalf too!
So please please please share the resilience fund, invite people to like it on FB and Insta and tell people about it! Especially those of you in the Bristol/Bath area as the gifts are local to Bristol and Bath. ☝
We want to reach more people so please give us a gift by sharing the word! Love and power 💥💥💗💗